Today Has Arrived

Today is the day of my Grandad’s funeral. Sorry, memorial – he was adamant he didn’t want a funeral.

I wake up with mixed emotions. Today is another day I’m alive. It’s a day I get to spend off work with relatives including family from Australia who I rarely get to see. I know that today I will find out things I didn’t know about my grandad, and I’m quite looking forward to finding out more about his life before he became ‘grandad’. 

Today is also a day of refleftion and sadness. Reflection on memories and times shared together, sadness about a life lost so suddenly and unexpectedly. 

Today is a day where I will have to watch my mother break and know that nothing I can ever do will replace that part of her heart.

Today is the day that it becomes real. A part of me doesn’t believe he has died still. He had only just recently come back from visiting Australia. In my mind he’s just extended his trip, even though I know that’s not the case. A part of me hopes that today it sinks in so that I can start processing what has happened, but another part of me likes thinking that he’s just on an extended holiday.

Today is a day to stop, breathe, think.

Today has arrived. It is time to face it. 

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