I feel like all I’ve done recently is whinge, whine and wonder about anything and everything in my life. I suppose that’s part and parcel of grief, but today I don’t want to be down. Today I don’t want to focus on the things that hurt, but on the things in my life that are helping me heal. Today is a day to feel the power of positivity.
1. My partner
When I met him, I hated him. People say hate it a strong word, but I really did. He used to annoy me in every way, but then I fell for him. He made me laugh, and since then I haven’t stopped. We have been through a lot together, mostly good, some not so good, but he is always the first thing I want to see on a morning and the last thing I want to see on a night.
Throughout everything he has been my rock, my shoulder to cry on. He has made me laugh when I didn’t think I could and wiped away every tear. I’m a lucky girl to have a partner so loyal, kind and faithful.
Whenever I have needed a rant, they have been there. If I have wanted cheering up, they’ve zoomed to my apartment. On the day of my friend’s funeral when I was pretty much hysterical, my friend took me out, distracted me and held my hand throughout it all. I am lucky to know these people at all, even luckier to call them my friends.
3. My family
As I type this I am sat on the sofa at my mum’s house, cosy, content and loved. We have all been in this grief together. I have been surrounded by love and support and never once been allowed to feel like I am going through this alone. I am blessed to have these people in my life.
It just helps, need I say more?
Today is a day for smiles – I am determined to make them happen. Today is a day to know that while some things in my life are hurting me right now, there are plenty more things making me smile and filling my heart with joy.